203. Are your first order objectives in order?
“When you know what’s most important to you, making a decision is quite simple.” — Anthony Robbins
A couple of weeks ago, a relative called me to get my view on an opportunity that arose in his life — an opportunity that could materially change his personal financial situation. Few years ago, he bought an apartment that was being constructed in a large world class apartment complex. The construction is finally getting done — just a few months left for handover of the apartment. As is generally wont in such situations, prospective buyers materialized out of nowhere asking him if he was willing to sell the apartment for what seemed like an attractive valuation. My relative bought the apartment to live in it but his personal circumstances changed in the last couple of years and consequently, he is not quite in a position to move into the apartment. On the other hand, selling the apartment will give him access to serious amount of capital which if invested wisely can materially improve his future financial prospects. It is also apparent to him that he will not be able to afford such an apartment in a similar locality in the future. So, very understandably, he was confused and was seeking opinions from his well-wishers.
Recently, my counsel was also sought by another person who found himself at cross roads. He is an Indian but lives and works in the US on visa and his application process for Green Card (for permanent residency in the US) has already begun. Long lead times for Green Card process coupled with the limitations on career maneuverability while on visa made him wonder if it is really worthwhile for him to continue living in the US.
As far as I have seen and known, US is a particularly good place to build your career if you are growth oriented and willing to take risks. Risk is tolerated and even celebrated in the US. For conventional (regular bureaucratic) jobs, US does not offer any special advantage — actually, perhaps more of a disadvantage because of constant job insecurity. But today’s India offers fantastic prospects for all kinds of careers. Attitude towards “risk” has also been changing dramatically over the last several years — so even for risk-takers, India has started to offer excellent prospects. So, does he continue to endure a “visa-constrained” but otherwise “smooth” life in the US or move back to India and pursue uninhibited career prospects?
Both these persons found themselves in real, earnest quandaries. They genuinely felt themselves caught between two equal options. They are being weighed down by the potential cost of forgone opportunity. So how do they proceed? Which option do they take?
Only time will tell if they ended up taking the more valuable choice but the decision is to be taken now.
“Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important.” — Stephen Covey
This kind of dilemma is not unique to these folks. It is common to find ourselves in the face of equally good (or bad) options. It could be a decision to take up a great job offer from a different city or take the plunge and get married or to have kids or any number of other situations.
When we face multiple options, often one gets overwhelmed by details and that can make the decision-making process daunting. I know this because I used to struggle with making decisions. “On the one hand…. but on the other…..” can weigh particularly heavily when the choices come with strong positives along with strong negatives. For me, this struggle used to be very real and quite overwhelming and tiring. A few years ago, I expressed my frustration about a certain situation at work (I do not remember the details any more), to my boss in one of our regular catch-ups. He did not understand why I was perplexed about such a relatively simple situation. His perspective on the situation resolved the matter immediately and neatly for me. My boss was able to quickly align details along the larger objectives. He had excellent clarity on our first order objectives while I was lost in the second and third order details. That short meeting made me wonder if this “decision-making” malaise extended to other matters of my life. Was I generally lost in details and losing track of my bigger objectives? Do I even know what my bigger objectives are? What exactly do I want out of life? And what surely do I not want?
“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
In terms of conversations at the beginning of this article, given that my relative already lives in his own apartment (albeit in a less fancy neighbourhood), I implored him to spend some time figuring what is really important to him — living a “lower status” life but on strong and secure financial standing or a “high” status life but with weak financial foundation; what is more important to him: consumption today or security tomorrow. Similarly, for the second person, I asked him to honestly contemplate on how he would like to organize his life — coveting the relatively chaotic but exciting prospects in India or the staid life in the US. Once the first order priorities are clear, decision making becomes easier.
Bottomline
“Good things happen when you get your priorities straight.” — Scott Caan
It is my realization that having clarity on first order objectives of life can make your life’s journey a lot more efficient and enjoyable. This allows you to take up the right challenges and avoid unnecessary ones. It can actually make your life’s journey purposeful.
I realized that my first order inclinations are being free and pursuing my natural curiosity. As I realized this, I was able to muster courage to quit corporate career (retire?) at 46 and also move 70% of my net worth from mutual funds to stocks. I was able to make the painful transition from living a fully packed, stimulated, socially active life to a loose and unentangled life.
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Thanks for taking time to read this article. In this newsletter, I share my learnings that could help you improve your decisions and make meaningful progress in your life. I try to share stuff that I have personally experienced or experimented with.
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